Happily and consciously settled in one’s failure

Recognition of one’s error, flaw, or failure represents both a spontaneous stimulus to improve one’s understanding and/or action and a reason for improvement. Self-reflection of one’s errors is thus naturally embedded in perfectionist projects of a moral or epistemic kind. In comparison, for Adornoian dialectics, the point is less of making a substantial change through self-reflection, and more of identifying clearly the preconditions of one’s present ‘delusion’. Both the perfectionist and the dialectical response rely, however, on a profoundly critical insight into one’s present situation, and both, in effect, amount to a dissatisfaction with it and working through it. In this text, I explore to what extent one can clearly identify one’s past mistakes, errors, or shortcomings, yet remain happily seated in this self-reflection and simply build on it further without any sense of unease. As a discussion example, I use the character of Mr. Bennet from Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, partly to highlight the contrast with the perfectionist character of Elisabeth Bennet. I argue that while Mr. Bennet’s self-criticism is, similarly to Adornoian dialectics, located in thought rather than in action or general sensitivity (in contrast to perfectionism), its foundation is not contemplative effort (resistance), but rather a grace-like refusal to be unhappy.